This is the Way

Posted on Mon Dec 2nd, 2024 @ 12:03 by Claire Cavendish & Sarah Bright

Chapter: Besieged
Location: Library, Avalon Institute
Timeline: January 31, 1993
3822 words - 7.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Sarah sat down at her desk with a heavy sigh. She wanted to bury her head in her arms on her desk, but instead she found herself leaning back, her arms stretched up so that her hands could cup the back of her head. She took a deep breath and her back cracked in several places. She felt satisfaction in the sounds, at least, even if they did nothing for her aches. As she stretched her back she found herself looking up, toward where the broken window pane had been, now thankfully covered with a sheet of plywood. It had only taken William ninety minutes to survey the damage, measure for and cut a piece of plywood, and then climb a ladder to fasten it into place. Sarah's mind counted that a timely fix, given he'd done it outside in the midst of a winter rainstorm, but her body felt otherwise. By the aches and pains it felt like the library had been exposed to the rain for hours.

The library was still a mess, but at least Sarah had vacuumed up all the broken glass, and then dealt with the tarp collecting the incoming rainwater. Several more hours would be spent moving tables and furniture, and then wiping down and re-shelving all of the exposed books, but none of that needed doing in this instant. She could afford a few minutes to at least try and relax and bring her stress level down, and Sarah felt that was important, given the meeting that was likely soon, but inevitably going to take place.

There was always a pretty thorough follow up when one of the students' abilities misfired. This was well known to all staff and students alike. It wasn't that they needed to be properly disciplined, the aim was always to understand. To reflect. To make sure that the chance of it happening again was diminished in the future. When books flew through windows and caused a mess, it was sure to land on Claire's desk. Which in turn meant Claire would show up sooner or later at the scene of the incident to take stock.

The library was usually a place where students lingered all the way up to the last moment before curfew. Some nights for quiet study, some nights for less quiet D&D. Tonight though, it seemed that the wind and rain and cold had made them all scatter. So it was that the Head Mistress entered a rather empty library. Hands behind her back. Steady, even, strides. Contemplating exactly how all of this would've affected the librarian. "Evening, Miss Bright."

Sarah hadn't heard Claire come in, but she had been expecting her so she didn't look too surprised. She straightened from her relaxed post and lowered her arms to her desk, but didn't immediately stand. She wasn't tired, just... spent. The distinction felt hard to explain.

"Sarah, please. It's just us." The librarian said softly, more in the mood for casual interaction. "Unless this is a sacking, then I guess Miss Bright will have to do." Sarah didn't think she was getting fired, but she was hard on herself in the belief that these incidents happened around her a lot, more than the others, it seemed, and that she was the least capable of managing them.

"How are you holding up, Sarah? You look a little worse for wear." Claire took the opportunity to give her the immediate feedback her job wasn't in danger. She made her way to a nearby table and leaned up against it. The good thing about old furniture was that it was made of solid wood, not like those flat-pack build it yourself things from that new Swedish brand that was gaining popularity in the UK.

Sarah gave her employer a suffering glance, paired with a heavy sigh to let Claire know that her comment about her appearance was appreciated. That sounded like something a flatmate would say, albeit phrased differently. Hey Sar, you okay? You look like shit, girl. At least Sarah now knew she could count on her employer to let her know if and when she was in desperate need of a bath. But then again, the comment was a fair observation. Her hair felt damp and gross, and she'd tied it back into a messy ponytail in hopes that no one would see it. Looking down, Sarah could see that her clothes didn't look much better. Her sweater still had damp spots, her skirt hung limply, and her tights were completely ruined. She didn't even want to know what she looked like, At least her Converse sneakers had dried enough to stop making squishy sounds with each step. Of course she had a pair of wellies up in her room, but there had been no time to grab them.

"I'm holding up, Claire. And thanks for noticing." Sarah said, trying to keep her wit light, and not as dry as she wished she felt. "Wish I'd gotten the memo a bit earlier though, about converting this space into an indoor swimming pool."

"You know me, always very impulsive with that sort of thing." Claire had come to appreciate the dry wit that the librarian had come to be known for among staff and the more observant students. "I've spoken with the student. He'll come and help with repairs as well as provide assistance with any cleanup you require afterwards."

Sarah nodded as she surveyed the lingering evidence of damage. So much from just a single broken window pane. But of course this wouldn't have happened on a calm, sunny day. She couldn't imagine the day William was having, as he was the one who'd had to go out into the storm and climb up a ladder to nail a piece of plywood into place. He was doing his job just like her, sure, but she still felt she owed him something after today. She'd have to think and maybe ask around as to what the proper recompense might be.

"I think some time with William will be good for him." Sarah said. She'd known that the boy in question had been having difficulties, and she'd overheard some of the details from his friends, but he hadn't been willing to talk to her. Maybe he would talk to William.

The librarian also considered asking for permission to take the boy into town to the New Cresthill Public Library and apologize for damaging the book he'd borrowed from them, but things were tense enough already, and she didn't want to add that concern to Claire's already full plate. She'd take care of replacing the book herself. Still, the thought led her to the larger issue at hand... not the largest, but one that went beyond one broken window, at least.

"So... any prospects on a new maths teacher?" Sarah asked with some hesitation, pointing out what she felt was the elephant in the room. The student who'd lashed out in frustration was very predisposed towards math, and through much effort was far ahead of his peers. But he was now struggling to teach himself advanced college-level mathematics, something he'd been getting help with from Avalon's maths teacher.... who hadn't returned to the institute after the winter holiday.

"STEM teachers are hard to find, it seems Maths doubly so." Claire admitted. They'd been able to divide the work between the more theoretically minded faculty, and they were certainly able to cover the minimum requirements set out by the curriculum in preparation of A-levels, but there wasn't anyone even close to being able to guide someone through advanced maths. "Let's hope some of this dies down and it'll be easier for us to find a suitable replacement."

Sarah looked down at the table nearest them, her mind unconsciously looking for something to distract her from what Claire had said, something she tried very hard to not see as mere wishful thinking.The registration act had been passed, but so far no one had come around to try and enforce it. Not yet anyway. But Sarah couldn't see how things wouldn't get worse, not when the government had only just started to get the ball rolling on this whole mess.

The table Sarah glanced in hopes of a distraction only offered her another analogy on the issue they were currently skirting around. Sarah's re-shelving cart had been parked near the window when it had gotten broken, and nearly every book on it had received some degree of water damage. She'd laid out many of those books, spread open, in hopes that they might air dry before more significant damage set in. They were in bad shape now, but it was too early to tell if they would simply dry, or if the ink would bleed and the pages would distort and stick together.

If felt like all Sarah could do was simply sit back and watch, and wait and see. In a way, that felt scarier than the night those lunatic mutants had come and attacked the castle. At least then there had been a clear threat to fight back against. In this situation, it felt like doing anything would just make the situation worse.

"He's afraid." Sarah said, turning away from the table littered with damp books. She didn't think she needed to explain who she meant, but she did elaborate. "He's afraid his parents will register him, and then none of the colleges he wants to attend will accept him." Sarah wasn't exactly sure of the legality behind that, but it wouldn't surprise her in the least to find that there was truth behind the fear. In the United States, many universities, including the one she'd attended, required a doctor's physical examination as part of the admissions process.

"It's one of the reasons I feel like I need to take a stand now." Claire had come to this topic in her conversation with the kid. It was a difficult balancing act for all of them. Though even if he didn't register the fact that he attended Avalon was also kind of a dead giveaway. For the high prestige universities it had always been a matter of 'we'll find a legal way to reject your application', whether through weighting the random selection processes or through requiring impossible extra-curricular. It was one of those instances where the institutionalised classism was still painfully apparent.

There was a moments hesitation before she added, "It might be one of those moments in history where it would feel really good to be on right side of it." She looked at the librarian, knowing that Sarah had been able to circumvent being flagged as a mutant through genetic testing. The head teacher, as far as she knew, was one of the few people that actually knew about her true status.

Sarah looked thoughtful and seemed on the verge of a reply, but her expression quickly became more guarded and for a moment it looked like she wouldn't share what was on her mind. With obvious effort, she forced her mouth open and made herself commit to what she had to say.

"It's not a terrible idea... but it is being implemented in a terrible way." Sarah said carefully, trying to hide her trepidation. No one at the school had been anything but cordial to her, but in many ways Sarah still felt like an outsider. Which was fair, as she was not being entirely truthful with her peers. In that regard she was more than a little afraid of Claire, not only in daring to disagree with her, but also that combined with the idea that soon her patience with the librarian's caginess might soon wear thin.

"Many, if not most of our students came to us after traumatic awakenings, with no one able to help them until long after the fact, with families, friendships and trust already broken beyond repair. I've seen a kid get tossed out of a car like trash, abandoned at our front gate. That's unacceptable." Anger noticeably crept into Sarah's voice, before she was able to smother it. "Mutants shouldn't have to register with the government, I agree with that, but if enough cooperated with the medical community, maybe a way for latency gene testing could be discovered. Then kids and their families might have months to find their way here, where they can awaken in a safer environment."

Sarah seemed poised to say more, but she couldn't help but realize how naive her words sounded. As far as 'awakenings' went, she gotten off pretty light... denial, followed by a trail of breadcrumbs showing her the way back into the closet.

"There's some research that suggests this so called X-Gene doesn't always activate. Some go as far as saying traumatic events or stress during puberty is what triggers it in the first place." There were of course enough examples of mutants that didn't experience that and still showed mutations, like herself or people like Magali who were born with their physical mutations. "It's a dangerous path to go down to blanket test everyone and segregate based on genetics." There was a strong eugenics implication with that, because from experience and the historical record, it would never just stop at identification. "I agree that some traumatic experiences might be mitigated. But how many more are you creating? I never really like the argument of ends justifying the means."

Sarah wanted to quickly counter that in a way they were already being segregated, but didn't. It wasn't exactly true, as no one had been exactly forced to come to Avalon, and she was already of a mind to guard her tongue. But maybe that was Sarah's problem. No one really had these kinds of discussions with her, or came to her for advice. Some of the students did, of course, but none of the other faculty members ever asked her serious questions about anything except for the curriculum. She could hardly fault them for it. People looked up to Claire because she stood for the things she said. Sarah wasn't known as a someone who meant what she said, because she never said things that meant anything. Sarah had been honest with Claire before... maybe it was time for her to do so again.

"I went to an all-girls boarding school for most of my youth... as you can probably tell. " Sarah let out a nervous laugh at that, a nod to the way she still dressed. "One day I sent like a dozen kids to the hospital, most of them were... had been my friends. Sent maybe sixty others running and screaming from the scene. All because my friends wouldn't let me sit at their table anymore because someone told them I was gay." Sarah rolled her eyes at that, in disbelief that she'd actually admitted it. Though to an observer it could look more like Sarah's belief in the absurdity of the notion.

"I didn't think it was me. The school couldn't prove it was me. They told the parents it wasn't me. And my parents wanted to believe it wasn't me, so they had me gene tested. I didn't have the x-gene, so they sent me back to school, and I got to pretend like nothing had ever happened. Thankfully now I know better, and nothing like that will ever happened again. But... I just think that registration aside, segregation is going to happen whether we want it to or not. Would you want a kid like me in a public school with parents who're in denial?" Sarah closed her mouth at that. She really hadn't meant to play devils advocate. She thought the registration act was fascist garbage too, but someone had to find a way to handle mutations constructively at the community level, or else the government would.

While the story was deeply personal and tragic, to Claire it was difficult to suppress a knee jerk reaction of pointing out that registration wouldn't have helped her, because apparently her mutation presented itself without the tell-tale x-gene. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." She remarked upon both the traumatic experience as well as being outed against her will. "and I agree that there are better places for people with abilities to grow into them." She made a bit of a gesture to the room around her. "You're certainly helping in providing that space for the kids here." The different activities that Sarah organised in the library were definitely popular with different groups.

"As for segregation happening, there's a big difference between being put into an internment camp against your will and choosing an educational institute to suit your specific educational needs. If anything, Avalon was proving to be a very effective before the sentinel attacked. People knew where and how to find us, at the start of the school year we had more than two-hundred students registered." Those numbers had dwindled following the Sentinel attack, then even more due to the political unrest that followed. Staff and students, or their guardians, alike had made decisions to no longer associate themselves with Avalon. "We don't need the government to tell us who or what we are."

Sarah sighed heavily, and when she took an unconscious step backward and felt her legs brush against a tabletop, she couldn't help but sit on the edge of it. She'd thought that the day had already taken a lot of out of her, but this conversation made her feel sapped to the bone. Sarah was not good at debates. She never had been, and probably never would be. Claire, in counterpoint, was approaching it like a game of chess. The librarian could hardly fault her for that, of course, given her ongoing exchanges with the government and the press, but to her it just felt like everything was... foregone. It was as if Claire had consulted an oracle, planned eight moves ahead, and was ultimately less interested in anything Sarah had to say than she was in knowing what color pawn she intended to be for the upcoming match.

Sarah hated chess.

"What will we do if the government tells us we are enemies of the state?" Sarah said, deciding in frustration to fling all the bullshit aside, in a manner not unlike the student who'd trashed her library.

Claire's disposition iced over, "We have contingencies in place to protect our assets as well as the people." Her jaw tensed before she let out a sigh herself. "I strongly believe in a peaceful resolution and I've always said that I'm a pacifist at heart." She looked around the room again, this time to make sure there was nobody there that would be able to use the next words against her. "Let's just say that over the past few years, especially the most recent months, it turns out there are some things even I feel might be worth fighting for."

Sarah didn't quite now how to respond to that, and it showed. She'd expected the response... hoped for it, even. Why then did it still come as a frightening shock? A chill crept into her body, completely alien, thanks to her strange lack of certain bodily sensations. Thankfully she'd already been seated at the edge of the table. She wondered exactly what Claire meant by contingencies, that could mean anything really. Siege preparations? Planned counterattacks? Even a preemptive strike... in the form of statecraft, blackmail or something more militant. Or was it simply turning tail and running away? Whatever the case, Sarah wasn't sure she wanted to know, and she doubted the head teacher would tell her even if she asked; her guarded choice of words seemed indicative of that.

If anything was certain, it was that this conversation had brought the librarian little closer to choosing a side. Wherever her loyalties might lie, she did not want to get caught in the middle of a war that she felt was all but guaranteed to be genocidal in nature at its outset, should it ever start. That might be open to debate for others, but Sarah was starting to feel more and more jaded with each day. The motivations, emotions and powers wielded by both sides gave the situation an air of grave finality that left little room for mistakes. But she was just a librarian. It didn't really matter what she thought, or where her loyalties might lie. That was what she told herself, anyway.

In the end Sarah simply nodded, eyes slightly downcast, as if not wanting Claire to see the lack of resolve in her eyes. . "I should probably finish up here. I promised Valjean I'd be better about showing up for dinner on time." The librarian said, clearly chickening out from the discussion.

"Don't worry about the Chef." Claire knew Valjean to be fairly particular about his kitchen and the dinner times, but he had a good heart. He wouldn't let someone go hungry. "For what it's worth, I'm glad to have you on our side, Miss Bright." It was good to have people around that were willing to speak against her, ask the tough questions, even advocate the other side. Like Monroe had done. Even with the Librarian being able to hide her true nature, she still cared enough about their community to stick around with Avalon. Put everything on the line. "You're good people."

Had Claire been a mind reader, she might not have been so quick to say the latter. Sarah had not come to Avalon seeking solidarity with mutants. She had known the basics of what she'd been getting into, of course, but staying as long as she had had never been part of the plan. She'd come looking for a book... research for her doctoral thesis. So far she'd found neither the book, nor any shred of evidence that it ever had been at Avalon. So why had she remained? That was the question. Most days Sarah was convinced it was because of the kids. To most she was just another librarian they'd forget about as soon as they moved on. But to a few she seemed something far beyond that. Not a parent, certainly. One could be considered a parent without doing any actual parenting. Whatever she was to them, it was something earned, and it was hard to just turn her back on that.

But then there were days like today, when Sarah was less sure that the kids had anything to do with it, and more convinced that she was only still there for one reason--to hide her true nature... that she was a piece of shit.

"Aahw." Sarah said as she turned away, as if to say 'you shouldn't have said that' while trying to hide brushing away a tear. That might be part true, but in that moment she mostly just found it hard to meet Claire's eyes.